"Americans have finally got beyond our racial past, and picked a black man to
clean up our mess."
"Did you see Obama's news conference today? Wow. I have to say, nice to see
adults back in charge of government. The White House press corps, you could
tell, they were ecstatic. It's been years since they've heard a complete
sentence."
"But all this doesn't matter because Obama keeps pulling away in the polls.
Every week, he gets a little more ahead. And with almost all groups. Liberals,
of course, always supported him. ... And conservatives like the idea of paying
a black man to clean up their mess."
"And then today we found out, because McCain is so good at vetting, as we found
out with Sarah Palin, that Joe the plumber, turns out, really isn't a licensed
plumber, he's in trouble for not paying the taxes that he does owe, he isn't
really close to buying any sort of plumbing company, and his name isn't Joe.
Or, as the McCain campaign explained it, 'Who is Barack Obama?'".
"I don't know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer's market.
I don't want to say things are going downhill quickly, but Obama's new campaign
slogan is 'Are you better off than you were four days ago?'".
"In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an
exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. Or, as Democrats call it,
Barack Obama."
"Did you hear the latest about Barack Obama? He comes from a family of slave
owners. He’s black, but he’s half white. Apparently, on his mother’s side,
which is the white side, they owned slaves. The Barack Obama camp is going to
deny it, but his approval ratings in the South shot up 27 points."
"I hope it is Barack Obama. … Him running against either the mannequin or
Grandpa Munster. Hillary Clinton is great. I just think it’s time America heard
the words, ‘And now for something completely different.’"
"Did you see this today about Barack Obama? Genealogy research has revealed
that Obama’s great-great-grandfather was born in Ireland. Oh great, now he
won’t be Irish enough for people."
